RETURN TO FIRST LOVE
When doing everything right is no longer enough.
I’ve been thinking about something lately.
How easy it is to become so busy doing things for God that we slowly lose the joy of simply being with Him.
And I know this because I’ve been there.
There was a season in my life when I was doing all the right things.
I was praying. Fasting. Studying Scripture. Journaling. Making declarations. Seeking God’s direction for my life and praying faithfully for my family.
I genuinely wanted to be a woman after His own heart.
But somewhere along the way, something subtle began to shift.
My relationship with God started feeling like another area of my life where I needed to get things right.
Was I praying enough?
Was I hearing Him correctly?
Was I growing spiritually?
Was I doing everything He expected of me?
Without realising it, I had brought my performance mindset into the very relationship that was supposed to free me from it.
I knew God loved me.
But I wasn’t always living like someone who truly believed she was loved.
And there’s a difference.
In January 2023, after completing a 21-day Daniel fast, I wrote something in my journal that I recently revisited.
I asked God to forgive me if there was still a performance mindset in my heart — a belief that I somehow needed to earn His favour through my works.
And then I wrote:
Thank You that You have already done everything. It is DONE!
I knew this truth in my head.
But my heart was still learning how to live in it.
A few months later, during a quiet morning on our farm, I was studying the Gospel of John when something struck me.
John repeatedly refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved.
Not the disciple who prayed the most.
Not the one who understood everything.
Not the one who worked the hardest for the Kingdom.
The one whom Jesus loved.
And I remember thinking:
What if I started seeing myself that way too?
Not through the lens of what I do for Jesus.
But through the certainty of His love for me.
I am the disciple whom Jesus loves.
Such a simple truth.
Yet it began changing something deep within me.
Because I realised that my identity was never meant to rest on how well I love Him.
It rests on how completely He loves me.
And from that place, my love for Him can grow freely.
Jesus says in John 15:4:
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you.”
Remain.
Not strive.
Not impress.
Not prove.
Remain.
A branch doesn’t spend its days desperately trying to produce fruit.
It simply stays connected to the vine.
And life flows.
Perhaps we’ve made our relationship with God more complicated than He ever intended.
We arrive in His presence with our lists, our questions, our requests and our desire to hear something profound.
And none of those things are wrong.
But I wonder how often we come simply because we love Him.
Not needing an answer.
Not seeking direction.
Not asking Him to change something.
Just wanting to be near Him.
I am still learning this.
That sometimes the most beautiful moments with God are the ones where nothing extraordinary happens.
No great revelation.
No new assignment.
No dramatic encounter.
Just the quiet assurance that I am with Him, and He is with me.
And perhaps this is where joy begins to return.
Not the fleeting happiness that comes when life is going well.
But the deep, settled joy of knowing we belong to Someone who loves us completely.
Psalm 16:11 reminds us that fullness of joy is found in His presence.
Not in our productivity.
Not in our spiritual achievements.
In His presence.
And when I think about Jesus’ words to the church in Revelation 2:4 — that they had forsaken their first love — I wonder whether this invitation is just as relevant to us today.
We can remain faithful in what we do while slowly losing the tenderness of why we do it.
But here’s what comforts me.
Jesus doesn’t stop loving us when our love becomes distracted.
He continues to invite us back.
Not to another programme.
Not to another spiritual checklist.
But to Himself.
And I am discovering that returning to my first love isn’t about trying harder to love Jesus.
It’s about remembering how deeply He loved me first.
Because love was always meant to be our starting point.
And joy is one of the beautiful fruits of remaining there.
A thought for your week
When was the last time you spent time with God without wanting anything from Him?
No requests. No agenda. No expectations.
Just the joy of being with the One who loves you.
Perhaps this week, we can put down our lists for a moment.
And simply return to our first love.
Walk loved. Walk held.
The Way She Walks
Scripture: John 15:4 | Revelation 2:4 | Psalm 16:11 | 1 John 4:19
#TheWaySheWalks #ReturnToFirstLove #RemainInHim #IntimacyWithGod #AbidingInChrist #LovedByGod #WomenOfFaith #FaithJourney
